i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
