Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
