thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
