WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
