you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
