I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
