Have you finally orgasmed yet?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
