i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
