I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
pray to the hookup gods
Can you repeat that, but with context?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
