oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
