a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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