She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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