Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Randomize
