We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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