Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
