i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
