I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
