As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Randomize
