i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
