I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
