i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I wish I only lived at night.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
