you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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