Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
