the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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