My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Someone shattered a urinal.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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