I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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