I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
