dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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