peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
someone owes me an orgasm
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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