I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
