We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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