I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
