problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
