butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
