If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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