please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
