I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
