clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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