ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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