Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
