He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
