...so i touched it.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
