i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
