I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
