He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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