Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
