There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
