Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
