my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize