I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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