So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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