And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
