Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
