Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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