i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Dick very happy bro
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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