Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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