K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
