You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize