so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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