I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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