I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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