He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
